Dear reader,

I assume you do not like being drenched - unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mold. Also, you might prefer not to read this book, in which the Baudelaire orphans encounter a particularly unpleasant amount of moisture during their time underwater and in the depths of despair.

The terrible events they face are too many to enumerate, and you certainly wouldn't want me to mention the worst of them, which include mushrooms, the desperate search for a lost object, a mechanical monster, the sad message of a lost friend, and tap dancing.

I, as a dedicated author who has promised not to stop recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, must continue to delve into the lives of the children. However, you can delve into a happier book so that your eyes and spirits do not get soaked.

With all my respect,

Lemony Snicket